I told Momma, "I am the big dog. I can stay on the porch!".
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*Special Bonus*
You Might Be a Redneck This Thanksgiving if
...your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
… side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
… you have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge.
… the directions to your house include “turn off the paved road.”
… you consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
… you have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
… your secret family recipe is illegal.
… you serve Vienna sausage as an appetizer.